Here are 5 ways to promote pool safety

1. LEARN to swim– Swimming is a life saving skill. Teach your child how to swim. Educate them on what to do if they fall in the water, how to doggy paddle, how to blow bubbles when they go under water and how to float. We always taught our girls repetitively to find the wall if they fall in so it becomes a muscle memory. If they get tired from trying to find the wall, we taught them how to float.
2. Learn CPR– The first 4-6 minutes is crucial in regards to irreversible brain damage from drowning. CPR is the most important life saving class you can take when you have kids. Once you’re CPR certified, make sure to keep your certification current for up-to-date skills. CPR classes are usually available through many hospitals, community centers, and/or by the American Red Cross.
3. Provide physical barriers– Walls, fences, barriers, alarms and covers are the first line of defense and can be lifesaving devices. In our area, a fence surrounding the back yard is required. A fence has to be at least 4 feet in hight. Doors should have self-closing, self-latching devices and locks that are too high for children to reach. Also, there should not be any openings or protrusions that a young child could use to get over, under, or through. Pool covers are also a good idea to consider while the pool is not in use. Lastly, alarms are important to utilize for your back door leading out to the pool area. There are also alarms you can purchase for in the pool that sounds when something or someone falls in water. The alarm should sound very distinct from other sounds in the home. They even have alarms now that connect to an app.
4. Drains– Stay away from pool and spa drains that can create underwater suction with enough force to trap even strong swimmers below the surface. Never enter a pool or spa that has a loose, broken or missing drain cover. Most newer pools and community pools should be regulated to have a drain cover; however, some older homes may not have this feature.
5. Provide pool rules for your children such as….Never swim alone, walk dont run, and what to do if someone get hurts and/or falls in.

It is also important to note, always watch children when they’re in or near water, and never leave them unattended.

How do you handle pool safety in your home?

1) Builds a sense of community

A village gives children the sense that they are part of a team. Children who have a strong sense of community know they belong to something bigger than themselves. A strong sense of community also helps children develop resilience when faced with obstacles in life.

2) Teach kids to respect other adults

Having other parents around and caring for your child will teach your kids to respect other house rules.  This teaches understanding and tolerance of different opinions. This is such an important life lesson.

3) Big support system

Parenting is hard! Parents and children can benefit from having a bigger support system. Sometimes you just need a break, a date night, or just some time for self-care. Its so important to have time for yourself and spouse. Having a family you can switch babysitting nights with is a life saver.

Also, when you build relationships with other parents from your village, you gain access to a plethora of important information that is happening in the school and/or community. This was almost a revelation for me. There is always that ONE mom at school that knows everything.

4) Different perspective

There are people in our lives who are just better at some things than others. I am stubborn and independent so having to turn to other people for advice or help is a struggle. I feel almost like a failure, but as much as we like to think, we don’t know everything. Having friends who are in different fields can give an interesting perspective or approach to certain situations. You can gain access to a wider perspective of opinions and attitudes. Maybe offering new ways to deal with a sleepless infant or toddler tantrums. Your kids may also learn new skills and try new activities they normally would not at home.

5) Other people love your kid(s)

Its always a good idea for your kids to learn there are other people in this world other than their parents or immediate family that love them and support them. People who just genuinely enjoy having your kid around.

So how do I find my village?

An easy way to find your own little village is to seek friendship with other parents at the playground, school, after school activities (sports, dance, etc), and your neighbors. Nourish those friendships by organizing a get-together among a small group of parents. You will thank me later.

Nutritious food can support a child’s healthy growth and development, and play a major role in boosting the immune function. A major part of the immune system is found in the gut.

Healthy eating starts as soon as your baby can start solid foods. Kids are not born with an aversion to fruits and veggies. If your baby makes a funny face during those first few bites, it is more due to learning and understanding a new taste and texture. Conditioning to healthy foods happens over time as kids are exposed to healthy foods. The sooner you introduce nutritious choices, the easier it is for them to develop a healthy relation with food that will follow them into adult hood.

And it starts with meal planning.

Read further to understand what is considered healthy and ways to encourage kids to eat healthy.

Benefits of a Healthy Meal Plan

Im a big believer in everything in moderation. Maintaining a healthy body and consuming proper nutrients can reduce your risk to many common health conditions such as…..

• Diabetes
• Iron deficiency
• Dental caries (cavities)
• High blood pressure and heart disease
• Obesity
• Cancer

Everything in moderation.

Serving Size

It is hard to determine how many calories your child is consuming each day if you dont follow serving sizes with each meal and snack. However, it truly is NOT necessary to follow your child’s caloric intake unless they are having issues with keeping their weight, are over weight and/or suffer from chronic congenital disorders requiring caloric intake such as cardiac, endocrine, and Gastro pathologies. If your child is a healthy weight, the best way to measure the proportions to serve is to serve each food group according to the size of their fist. Children should consume a diet in whole grains, fruits, vegetables, protein and dairy. Generally, kids need three meals and two snacks per day. Caloric intake varies depending on the age and activity level of the child. Somedays they will literally eat a granola bar all day and other days they may eat more than their weight. Below is a general idea of how many calories children should intake each day.

Caloric Intake

American heart association recommends:

1-3 years of age 900-1000kcal/day

4-8 years of age 1200-1400kcal/day

9-13 years of age 1600-1800kcal/day

14-18 years of age 1800-2200kcal/day

Example: 1 medium sized banana is about 100 calories of the daily intake

Daily Dietary Requirements

• Grains: 3 servings
• Veggies: 3-4 servings
• Fruits: 2-3 servings
• Dairy: 3 servings
• Protein: 3 servings
• Fats: Seldom

Good Sources for Vitamins

• Vitamin A– A good source comes from Fish and eggs or plant based such as yellow/orange foods.
• Vitamin C– A good source comes from citrus fruits but also green veggies like broccoli and spinach.
• Vitamin D– A good source comes from fish and eggs but also the sun. Most people are deficient in D and would benefit to supplementation because not a huge amount comes from food.
• Iron– Tofu, leafy green veggies and beans are a great source of iron.
• Zinc– Mushrooms offer a great source of zinc if you can get your child to eat these. However, red/white meat, seafood, eggs, beans, chick peas, seeds and nuts are a great source as well.

*You can follow each link for more food sources and other information regarding each vitamin/mineral.

Read Your Labels

Here are four simple steps to follow when looking at package labels. Click here to read more in depth about nutritional labels.

Step 1: Claims on the front

Step 2: Serving Size, Total Calories, Percent Daily Values

Step 3: Nutritional Facts/Terms

Step 4: The additives

SNACKING

Some children get hungry when they are bored. This is why kids snack so much during the summer. A good rule of thumb is to offer an apple or a banana. Snacking is perfectly fine but provide healthy snacks for good eating habits. I am all about survival and so not a pintrest worthy mom so here are a few ideas that can easily be a grab-and-go

• Fresh or dried fruits
• Veggies with dip such as ranch or hummus
• Cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt, milk
• Crackers or pretzels with peanut butter or hummus

Hydration

Below are general guidelines. A good rule for hydration is a cup for each age. So a two year old should drink about 2 cups a day. However, keep in mind children require more fluids with increased activity.

• Toddlers: 2 to 4 cups
• 4-8 years: 5 cups
• 9 -13 years: 7 to 8 cups
• 14 and up: 8 to 11 cups (depending on age)

Special Age Considerations

Infants–

• Breast-feeding is ideal nutrition and sufficient to support optimal growth and development. Try to maintain breast-feeding for 12 months. It is perfectly fine to breastfeed beyond 12 months. There is no right or wrong, it is a personal choice between mom and infant. We are huge breast-feeding advocates! However, we support all moms and believe fed is best if that is your choice for your family.
• Transition to other sources of nutrients can begin at about 6 months of age to ensure sufficient micronutrients in the diet. Keep in mind, formula/breast milk is the major source of nutrients. Table feeding is more for developmental learning the first year of life.
• Delay introducing 100 percent juice until at least 6 months of age and limit to no more than 4 oz/day. Juice should only be fed from a cup and cut in half. What I mean by cut in half is 2oz of juice mixed with 2oz of water.
• Don’t overfeed infants and young children — they can usually self-regulate the amount of calories they need each day.

Children–

Foods to Avoid Choking Risk in Toddlers

• Raw carrots, celery, green beans
• Large pieces of hot dog
• Cherries or anything with pits
• Whole grapes
• Round, hard candy
• Peanuts, other nuts
• Large globs of peanut butter or large marshmallows
• Popcorn
• Gum

Picky Eaters- It is very normal for toddlers to be picky eaters and I dislike even labeling kids as “picky eaters”. They may prefer one or two very specific foods and then refuse to eat anything else. Favorite foods might change on a daily basis and those changes can be unpredictable. They may eat more on some days than others. Try not to focus on these changes, instead focus on finding healthy food choices and just accept that their food preferences will change. Children shouldn’t be forced to finish meals if they aren’t hungry. As time goes on, your kid’s eating habits will stabilize. If your child is not receiving the proper nutrition from the foods they eat, supplements may be considered. You can consider a multi-vitamin. We see typical deficiencies in iron and Vitamin D. Children utilize a lot of energy and require more frequent meals which is why healthy snacking is important for in between meals.

Over Eating-

I know a lot of parents can get stuck on how much their child eats. There is no reason you should force your child to eat or stop eating. This can create a bad relationship with food. Children need to learn to listen to their own body and self-regulate the amount of calories they need each day. If your child eats their entire meal at dinner and walks in the kitchen asking for a snack, you have two ways this can go…… offer them a fruit snack such as an apple or suggest they come back in twenty minutes for that apple. Some kids can eat fast that their brain doesn’t have time to catch up with their belly. In other words, give them some time to digest their food before you offer a healthy snack option. I by no means suggest you dont feed your baby if they are hungry. Feed that belly! But, there are ways to understand where that hunger is coming from if they are eating all day long. Diabetes and obesity is very prevalent in our society and the number one way to combat this is healthy food habits. Here is a link to assist with ways to educate our children on how to form a healthy relationship with food and nutrition.

Adolescents–

• Sports nutrition- Make sure your sports player is consuming enough calories to meet up with supply and demand. Generally a sports player can consume almost twice the normal amount of calories than a non-athlete. If your child is heavily into sports, make sure you speak with his/her health provider and/or coach to discuss a nutritional plan.
• Junk food- New drivers can access junk food much easier.
• Late night eating- Try to encourage a “closed kitchen” after late hours.

Special diet considerations

• Vegetarian, Etc. Living in a household with special dietary needs can have great health benefits. However, this can sometimes present a challenge to meet nutritional demands. Be mindful of what your child is missing. Supplement instead with plenty of beans, avocado, nuts and nut butter, seeds, dried fruits, coconut oil, eggs, soy, and dairy products. A good idea is to consult a nutritionist to ensure your child is receiving the proper nutrients missing from the average dietary food group.
• Gluten free- A lot of products have gluten. This is hard to stay clear from and still receive adequate nutritional requirements. Read your labels and find substitutes to meet the average dietary requirements.

Example Meal plan

Some quick ideas to get you started with a meal plan for your children. These are pretty average meals for the average family. When you can, buy organic products. The most important Organic foods are meats and fruits/veggies without hard skins (think avocados hard skin).

Breakfast:

• Smoothies! My go-to for my kids. you can add everything in there. Just add an apple or a banana to give it a better flavor. Here is a link to our favorite smoothies recipe.
• Yogurt with granola and berries, whole grain toast with nut butter and banana
• Oatmeal with fruit and honey drizzle
• Hard-boiled eggs on hand for an easy source of protein at breakfast.

Snack 1:

• Granola bar, lara bars are great for school snacks
• Apple
• Orange

Lunch:

• Peanut butter with banana on a wrap to make a pinwheel, carrots, strawberries,
• Quesadilla, tomato/cucumber with dipping sauce, applesauce
• Turkey pinwheels (honey mustard for dipping), edamame, dried apricots

*The best sauces for dipping are mustard base or oil based so honey mustard, avocado dressing, balsamic vinaigrette

Snack 2:

• Banana, strawberries, blueberries and yogurt based dip
• pretzels, popcorn, nuts, raisins, dried fruit

Dinner:

• Tacos- beef, lettuce, mashed avocado, salsa on a tortilla wrap
• Grilled chicken, broccoli, rice, applesauce

What type of meal plan do you use? Tried and true recipes your child loves? Where are my allergy babies at…. please share these recipes too.

We have to start some where.

Shopping and Cooking

Engage your children in grocery shopping and cooking. If they are old enough, they can search for a recipe, write down the ingredients and help prepare the meal. For younger kids, they can help write down ingredients for shopping and they can help with the meal prep. I am a worrier around the hot stove top or oven for my youngest two kids but they do help chop, pour and mix. While shopping, teach your kids to read labels. Simple items on labels such as….What does organic mean. What item is high in vitamins and minerals. What are vitamins and minerals. Here you can learn more about product labels and nutritional facts. I might add, and I cant say this enough, but eat at the dinner table together. Its important to make dinner or eating a positive experience.

Intuitive Eating and Self awareness

Intuitive eating allows a person to make food choices without experiencing guilt and enjoys the pleasure of eating. It creates self awareness by allowing your child to understand his/her own hunger and fullness cues. It also encourages a mindful relationship with food, by understanding how foods make you feel. Its never a good idea to teach your children to eat everything on their plate because you’re teaching your child to ignore their own internal cues for hunger vs fullness. Instead, we are teaching kids to eat even if they are full and finish eating until your plate is empty. Also, when your kids want to snack all day, ask yourself, is it because they are hungry or perhaps bored. A good way to determine this is too offer a nutritious snack like a banana. My kids do this some evenings at bedtime. They generally don’t want the banana but sometimes, they eat the banana. Honor real hunger cues otherwise, you can trigger a tendency to overeat.

Everything in Moderation

Obsessing over diets or clean eating can do more harm then good if you are not enjoying the foods you eat. It is a much healthier approach to sustain good eating habits by enjoying all foods in moderation. What I mean by moderation is having a healthy rounded whole food diet but also having allowing yourself to have that glass of wine or allowing your child to eat that small bowl of ice cream.

Life is too short, so go ahead and have your cookie too.

Don’t Punish or Reward with Food

Giving sweets and soda as a reward can lead to over eating. These behaviors negate the healthy relationship with food. I too am so guilty of this at times. The, “if you eat all your dinner, we can get some ice cream later”.  Saying things like this can associate food as a negative and the ice cream as a positive causing a distorted view on eating for a reward and/or comfort.

Lead by Example

Children look to their parents/guardians as role models. They are ALWAYS watching. Set an example to be a great role model for mindful eating and nutrition and also having a positive mindset about your body image. Show your kids that nutritious foods are enjoyable and that you can enjoy all foods in moderation. What you set on the table each night is the precedence of how they will define nutrition. Also, don’t let your kids see you criticize your body, their body or any other body. If you feel uncomfortable in your own skin, don’t pass that down to your children by calling yourself too fat, too skinny, too anything that shows you dislike your body. All bodies come in different shapes and forms. Teach your children to embrace who they are and that their body is a “healthy body”.

I know all this stuff can be overwhelming especially if you are just starting to change the way you look at food. Am I eating too much or too little? The right foods or the wrong foods? If you take anything away from this, is to just eat healthy foods that are grown from the earth that are colorful but also to just enjoy life and have that damn cookie!

What are some fun recipes you and your family cook together?

UVB vs UVA Sunray

Understanding UV spectrum is important in order to purchase the right sunscreen to protect against light. Ultraviolet light (UV light) is light from the sun. There are two different types of UV light. Ultraviolet A (UVA) light can penetrate the dermis and is associated with aging of the skin. Ultraviolet B (UVB) is associated with sunburn and damage to the skin. It is important to choose a “broad spectrum” sunscreen to protect against both UVA and UVB light.

Choosing the Right SPF

The sun protection factor (SPF) is a number that indicates the level of protection against UVB rays. The numbering system is not user friendly.

• SPF 15- blocks 93% UVB rays
• SPF 30 blocks 97% UVB rays
• SPF 50 blocks 98% UVB rays

Face vs Body Lotion

Not all skin is created equally. However, when it comes to younger children, using the same product is generally not harmful. But keep this in mind, the skin on a child’s face is much more sensitive than the body and some children may require two different products.

In regards to teenagers, a second product should be considered. When looking for a sunscreen for the face there are four things to look for

1. Non-comedogenic formulated to not clog pores causing bacteria to build up and lead to an acne breakout.
2. Oil free for those with oily skin
3. Moisturizing for those with dry skin
4. Fragrance free

Lotion vs Spray

Spray sunscreens are very popular because they are fast and convenient, easy to apply and help cover hard-to-reach areas. However, sprays do not provide guaranteed sun protection. In order to achieve an SPF similar to a lotion or cream, you need to spray each area for at least 6 seconds. This can increase the risk of inhaling the ingredients and possibly triggering asthma. For guaranteed sun protection, you are probably better off using a lotion or cream because you can actually measure the amount of lotion that is applied and it has less irritant.

History of Sunscreen

During this research, I stumbled upon the history of sunscreens and the FDA regulations. I found myself heading down a rabbit hole and I could literally write a paper strictly discussing this matter. To sum up a few of my findings….

Several decades ago, the FDA began requiring manufacturers to do more safety testing of their products. Sunscreens have been around since the 40’s and therefor were kinda “grandfathered in” into the FDA’s system without any real safety testing.

However, many of the active ingredients have been determined to absorb into the the body and are known hormone disruptors. Recently the FDA enacted a Sunscreen Innovation Act (SIA) to provide a better process for reviewing safety measures of sunscreen active ingredients. Despite these findings, and despite the new ACT initiative, these chemical sunscreens are still on the market. The FDA has allowed sunscreen makers to sell their products under an assumption that the active ingredients they use are generally recognized as safe and effective (GRASE). To date, the FDA has approved many clear chemicals known as endocrine disruptors.

All though there is evidence to prove the chemical ingredients absorb in the body, there is not enough research to prove the cause and effect it may have which is how the FDA considers these ingredients to be GRASE. Chemical sunscreens effects are subtle and take a long time to appear so that makes it difficult to study. However, because sunscreen is applied to the largest organ of the body, and is known as an hormone disruptor, it is plausible to conclude that chemicals from sunscreens increase the risk of various cancers and other endocrine disorders.

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck….

Keeping all of this information in mind, a parent then has to think well what do I do now? Does my child get skin cancer from the UV rays or the chemicals from a sunscreen. Why are these products still on the market. There are a lot of things on the market that perhaps should not be but we as parents have to better inform ourselves to make the best decision for our own children.

Sunscreen Ingredients to Consider

Sunscreen acts as a filter for UV rays. Active ingredients in sunscreen contain either mineral or a chemical UV filter. Chemical options absorb UV rays and mineral options deflect UV rays. Unfortunately, the most common sunscreens on the market contain chemical filters. Continue to read on so we can discuss each ingredient.

Best Ingredients to Look For

The two most commonly used mineral ingredients are zinc oxide and titanium dioxide. These are considered the safest options to date. However, some mineral sunscreens contain Nano particles, which researchers have not fully assessed the long term effects on humans and the environment so it is not completely understood what kind of impact they could have. When choosing a mineral based sunscreen, try to find a product without nanoparticles. Make sure you read your labels because a lot of “natural” or “green” products contain nanoparticles.

Did you know that there are no federal regulations defining the use of words like ‘natural’ when it pertains to sunscreens!

Ingredients to Avoid

Most of the chemical UV filtered sunscreen products in the market contain ingredients that is absorbed through the skin and has been found in human urine, breast milk, and can be measured in blood samples after one use thus suspecting systemic absorption. Which basically means these chemicals are found everywhere in the body. Data about human exposure and toxicity according to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), 97% of Americans have one or more of these chemicals circulating in our bodies. These chemicals can lead to:

• Skin cancer- DNA-damaging chemicals called free radicals in the skin result in an increased risk for skin cancer
• Contact Allergies- hives, swelling, redness
• Endocrine disruptors- These include estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and thyroid. Can contribute to the development of breast and ovarian cancers in women, and may increase the chance of prostate cancer in men.
• Reproductive toxicity- Can interfere with normal fetal and growing child development. Can cause early puberty, premature breast development and infertility in girls; and undescended testicles, sluggish sperm, and low testosterone in males
• Ecotoxic- Is the direct cause of coral bleaching in our oceans

 About 70% of sunscreens on the market are made up of chemical filtered UV ray blocker.

List of harmful Ingredients

• Oxybenzone (AKA Benzophenone-3) – Most common and most worrisome. Avobenzone often replaces this particular benzophenone.
• Octocrylene
• Octinoxate /Octyl methoxycinnamate- Is generally labeled as OMC, methoxy-cinnamate or ethylhexyl methoxy-cinnamate.
• Cylcopentasiloxane/Cyclomethicone
• Homosalate
• Formaldehyde- You wont see “Formaldehyde” listed on the ingredients. You will see words such as Quaternium-15, Diazolidinyl urea, DMDM Hydantoin and Hydroxymethylglycinate. These release formaldehyde which is a human carcinogen.
• Methylisothiazolinone- A preservative that is neurotoxic
• Parabens: propylparaben, benzylparaben, methylparaben and butylparaben- Commonly used to prevent the growth of bacteria, yeast and molds in sunscreens.
• Phthalates
• Retinyl Palmitate- Daily skin application of vitamin A creams may build up a high enough level of Vitamin A that may be toxic.
• Nano Particles

Coral Reef Safe

Some sunscreens are labeled “reef safe”. However, read your labels. Again, “reef safe” and “natural” is not FDA regulated. Most of the harmful ingredients listed above have been banned in many places to protect coral reefs. It is important to keep our oceans clean and safe because we essentially rely on the ocean to oxygenate our planet.

Other Ways to Protect Against UV Rays

• UV blocking sunglasses
• Car windows do not protect against UVA rays
• Hats
• Long sleeves
• Beach umbrellas provide about 3-5 SPF value of protections against UV rays
• Lip balm with SPF

Remember not all sun exposure is bad….vitamin D!

Don’t forget that the main source of vitamin D comes from the sun. Most people are vitamin D deficient. Early morning sun is less harsh and the perfect time to get your vitamin D.

5 Best Sunscreens Our Bello family uses

The following are EWG tested and personally approved.

1) Think baby– This is one of my favorite sunscreens. It is broad spectrum coverage, a mineral based product and NON-nanoparticles so it is also ocean safe. It is pricier at $18/6oz bottle.

2) Badger baby– I love this product. It scores a one on the EWG scale. It is also a NON-nanoparticle with broad-spectrum coverage. It can be very thick so we personally use this on our children’s face. The price is about $13/2.9oz bottle. They have a lot of manufacturer certifications so over all, it is a very clean product.

3) Blue lizard– Is another broad spectrum coverage and scores a 2 on the EWG scale. Its price range is $15/5oz bottle. It is not as thick as most mineral based sunscreens. The scent is very mild. We personally use this often as well.

4) Babo– Is closely compared to Badger in my opinion. It is also non-nano and contains high UVB/UVA protection. The price point is similar at $13/3 oz bottle.

5) Babyganics– Although this one is not the cleanest sunscreen, I added it to my list because for me, it is medium range on the EWG scale, offers broad spectrum coverage and is cost friendly for those on a budget. It is about $10/bottle for 6oz. The scent is not over whelming but you can smell a bit of the other ingredients.

Sunscreens should NOT be irritating or cause skin allergies. Sunscreen products should only protect against harmful UV rays. Always remember to talk to your Pediatrician before trying anything new.

What sunscreen do you love that I can add to my list above?

First and foremost, process your own fears. Don’t dismiss your child’s fears.

Babies, Toddlers and Young Preschool Age

• Maintain normal routines as much as possible
• Shield babies and toddlers from media coverage as much as possible
• If your preschooler inquires about absence from pre-school or activities, discuss the reasoning
• Let them ask questions and keep answers short and simple

School Age

• Limit media coverage.
• Maintain a normal home routine, especially bedtime
• Educate why there are School and after school activity closures.
• Educate why we are taking the extra precautions. It doesn’t mean that all of their loved ones and friends are or will get sick
• Educate on all the things adults are doing to help and prevent the spread of the virus
• Educate on hand washing
• Let them ask the questions. Keep answers short and simple
• Allow them plenty of outside play. Play is the most therapeutic relief for a child

Middle & High School Age

• Make yourself available to talk to you children and answer any questions. This will help you determine how much they know, what they see on TV, read online or hear from friends. Stick to facts in your conversation.
• Point them towards reliable sources. Discuss the difference between the media and reliable resources such as the CDC website.
• Enforce a tech curfew at night and to take media breaks.
• Make them get outside for sports, bike rides, walks, etc
• Make yourself available to listen and acknowledge feelings of fear, panic and anxiety
• Educate on why we are “Social Distancing”
• Educate on their “what if”….. Stick to the facts and don’t burden them with dystopian scenarios
• Educate against xenophobia and discrimination against certain people and populations.
• Educate on hand washing and ways to reduce the spread

When in doubt, contact your Pediatrician if you feel your child is not coping well or their behaviors have greatly changed.

How are your babies doing? How have you helped them cope with being home?

“Every 73 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted. And every 9 minutes, that victim is a child. Meanwhile, only 5 out of every 1,000 perpetrators will end up in prison.”

Consent matters. It is our job as parents to educate our children on consent and it doesn’t just start with high school sex education. In the eyes of the law, if you do not ask before you touch, kiss or do anything sexual with a partner, and they don’t give consent, that is a form of sexual assault. Here are some ways to educate your children on consent for each age group to ensure your child and their future relationships are safe.

Toddler and Elementary Grade

• Teach the correct vocabulary. A Vagina is a vagina. A penis is a penis. These are the foundational concepts surrounding consent for this age group.
• Teach body autonomy. A great lesson for early consent is during a game of tickle monster and your child says “stop or no”, that request should be immediately respected. Stop does not mean keep going and No does not mean yes. If your child does not want to hug nana or Uncle Joe, then do not force them. Their body, their choice.
• Teach the importance of reporting. Educate your child on good touch vs bad touch…. “Only mommy, daddy and the doctor can touch our private parts for bath time, potty time or if there is a medical reason. What are your private parts…. where your bathing suit covers”. Educate your child on who a safe person is to report. A parent, teacher or doctor is a safe person to report.

Late Elementary and Middle School

• Build stronger boundaries. Teach concepts about coercion and peer pressure. If a friend says they dont want to jump in the deep end of the pool, they don’t have to jump. Their body, their choice.
• Teach critical thinking skills. If you see sexism in the world around you, such as in movies, on television or real-life situations, point it out and ask them what they think. Help them reach their own conclusions.
• Teach the concepts of sexism and misogyny. For example, it is not just the female who should seek consent. It works both ways. Also, it is not just the responsibility for the female to be responsible for for pacing/stopping a sexual act. A man can so no too.
• Be ready to respond with questions about sex and let them lead the conversation
• Discuss pornography. This can lead to a misguided message about sex and intimacy. It can also portrayal an unrealistic expectation or preconceived notion regarding the male/female body and the act of sex.

High School and Young Adult

• Everything mentioned in the Middle school years including…..
• Peer pressure- No means no…. not maybe. Educate your teen that its not okay to pressure or be pressured. Sex is a big decision and any one that puts pressure on that decision is not worth their time.
• Be specific- Going to the other room to “make out” is not code for “lets have sex”
• Verbal vs non verbal consent- Non verbal would be the act of kissing, eye contact and pulling your partner close; However, if non verbal consent is not clear, ask for verbal confirmation.
• Under the influence- Drinking and drugs can affect consent. Any one under the influence is not capable of giving consent. If they can not drive, they can not give consent. It is equivalent to rape.
• Teach that they can change their mind at any moment. Before, during, at any moment.
• Informed- Using protection and informing their partner
• When sex is against the law- Anyone under the age of 13 can not consent to sex even if they agree. When a person is drunk/high, asleep, passed out or disabled in a way that inhibits them to understand. Check local state laws regarding specific teen ages.

Positive Vs Not Positive Forms of Consent

Positive

• Is this okay?
• Can we try this?
• We can stop if you’re not comfortable.
• Checking in on your partner before, during and after

NOT

• Not acknowledging the word NO!
• Under the age of consent
• Drugs and alcohol involved
• Assuming revealing clothing, flirting and kissing is an invitation to more
• Pressuring and intimidation
• Assuming you always have permission after the first time

The most important thing to take away during educating your child about consent is to keep an open mind and keep calm. The idea of talking about sex with your child/teen is scary and awkward but if you dont do it, then who will. It is better for this conversation to come from the parent.

How do you educate your child about consent?

For every feeling or thought we experience, a hormone/chemical is released.

Thoughts affect neurotransmitters known as chemical messengers. These messengers tell the brain to communicate to different parts of the nervous system controlling almost all of the body’s functions including hormone function in the adrenal medulla.

Think of it as this way, consider an emotion you have recently experienced. When you are sad, worried, angry or frustrated, how does your body react? Your muscles tense, you get over heated… possibly sweat, your heart pounds and you even experience gastrointestinal discomfort to the point of sickness. These are known as fight or flight symptoms. These symptoms mentioned above is considered acute, short term experience. Chronic fight or flight symptoms can lead to co-morbidities.

It is like a domino effect… when one thing is off, the rest will be affected.

Many who experience this are often sent from doctor to doctor, as it is sometimes difficult for medical providers to diagnose and treat.

Path To Improved Health

There are ways to take control of your life and head down the path to improved health.

Balance Lifestyle-

Life can get hectic! Learning to created a balance around work, school, and home life is important to mental health. A positive outlook can help you achieve a balanced lifestyle. Dont take on that extra project. Learn to put yourself first at times. Also, find ways to let some things go in life that is out of our control. Dont sweat the small stuff.

Resilience- By managing our outlook and stress levels, we can control excessive neurochemical transmission. Resilient people recover quicker because they are able to manage their attitude and stress effectively. Resiliency is a learned behavior. Here are a few key things to keep in mind… Keeping a positive outlook, accepting change, having a good social support system, and the capability to keep things in perspective.

Therapy

Therapy can help you achieve the above mentioned goals.

• Behavioral therapy
• Meditation/Relaxation
• Prayer
• Art therapy (art, music, dance)
• Hypnosis/ Guided imagery
• Exercise
• Yoga requires proper skeletal alignment, coordination and flexibility. The part of the brain responsible for achieving these core movements and posture directly inputs information to the adrenal medulla by regulating the stress response. Here is a few common yoga poses to help with immune function: Thymus gland support- Kurmasana (tortoise pose); Sinus and lungs- Downward facing dog; Chest and lung openers- Camel pose

Signs of Poor Emotional Health

You may not feel like exercising, eating nutritious foods, or taking medicine that your doctor prescribes. You may abuse alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs. Other signs of poor emotional health include:

• Back pain, stiff neck
• Change in appetite, upset stomach, constipation or diarrhea, weight gain/loss
• Chest pain, Shortness of breath
• Palpitations (the feeling that your heart is racing)
• High blood pressure
• Extreme tiredness, insomnia (trouble sleeping)
• Headaches
• General aches and pains
• Sexual issues such as low libido

When to Seek Help

• Thoughts of suicide or hurting others
• Negative feelings that wont go away and keep you from enjoying life

I bet you are wondering….. Why is she posting this in a Pediatric blog?

A healthy mind starts at any age. In fact, being proactive on ways to properly handle stress in the pediatric years will benefit your mind and body in the adult years. The best way to educate our children to have a healthy mind is to lead by example and help them learn to manage stress at their development level.

Stress can have a negative impact on our immune system, making people more vulnerable to a disease. This is why managing stress by practicing the various techniques mentioned can lead to a healthier mind and body resulting in a better quality of life.

How do you manage stress and find peace in times of increased stress? How do you educate your children? Comment below.